It’s been a while since it happened. Sometimes I feel like a bastard, other times I feel alone. Sometimes I feel lonely, other times I feel like I thrive through it. I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but it’s a unique experience. I’m not comfortable in it, I’m not happy about it, I’m just neutral. I don’t even know what I feel exactly.
I’ve been connecting with other friends. It’s not like they replaced the thing, or maybe it’s not even a thing, it’s just them. It didn’t replace them, but I also don’t crave a connection. It’s been two days since the last interaction. I’m still doing my old habits. I’m trying to be a good person. I focused more on my work and I’m trying to thrive.
I don’t know what the experience means or what I should conclude from it. I’m not comfortable, and at the same time I am. I feel like I want to cry, and then other times I feel strong. It’s still a long way to figure out.