Despite the feeling to make a human connection, I can’t. I don’t trust people fast, I’m shy, I don’t like making someone uncomfortable, nor myself. I tried connecting with people, but people are just dicks. They don’t talk much, they close in on themselves, stuck in these fucked up loops… yeah, loops, weird as fuck. But I’m still trying.
Anyway, I feel so lonely and I hate to say it. I used to be okay alone, but at least one real human connection to keep me grounded is what I need. But no… just silence from everyone around me.
I have my family, and family isn’t the same as someone else you talk to. I appreciate how lucky I am with them, I really do. But I need something from the outside.
This isn’t me crying for someone to connect with me. It’s just me planning out what I’m going to do.